FACING FEARS: How I rediscovered I AM enough!
Known in the Insta square world as @noshoes_noworries This super talented writer, qualified yoga instructor, surfer, part time beach bum and full time life enthusiast is beautiful Andy! We did our very first YTT together and since have had a serious girl crush on each other! So when she asked me to write for her up coming BLOG - Facing Fears : 4 Salt Sisters share their stories - it was a no brainer!
I had the pleasure of sharing my personal experience with something we all have: FEAR! For myself in particular - the fear of not being enough. HERE'S MY FULL INTERVIEW:
Yoga teacher, mom of two, and co-founder of The H.E.L.P Experience with your husband Josh. You travel the world with your beautiful family, leading yoga retreats and raising your kids in places like Byron Bay and Bali. You didn’t always have this lifestyle, and the transition must have come with a few risks and doubts.
1. What were some fears you had before making the life transition as a yoga teacher, business owner and traveling mom?
Failure and not being good enough. Imagine putting everything you have - your hopes, dreams, finances, your family, everything - into following your heart, living big, starting your own business and drifting of course - only to watch it crash and burn. This thought did occasionally (and sometimes still does) get the better of me.
My fear of failure is accompanied with the fear of ‘not being good enough’ and this can be a recipe for disaster. My self doubt was crippling (and sometimes still is) I work hard to manage this. Entrepreneurship is riddled with obstacles, stress and hard work - as is weaving a marriage and two children into the mix. There is no magic wand - I fuck up occasionally - but I think it’s important to be honest with ourselves, our kids and our partners. But mostly it’s important to find comfort in the not-knowing.
2. Looking back, what have these fears taught you?
I am not alone! I used to think those successful were just naturally confident and they were born for success but this is not true - everyone feels inadequate, insecure and unworthy. Even hyper-achieving legends struggle with feelings of unworthiness and which tools to use to overcome it. This is a nearly universal thing that’s very rarely talked about, and it’s super important that you put your own strategies in place to keep it from sabotaging your success. As soon as I came to the revelation this was everyone’s worry, the fear diminished.
Decide what you want - for yourself!
Did I really want the newest car? Did I need to build an empire to be successful? Did my kids have to be accepted to the best private school to be smart? Did I need to attend every family event - so not to disappoint anyone? Did I really need to prove myself to my parents anymore? I had to decide what it was that I truely wanted for myself and my family - a life experienced with freedom, vulnerability and honest love.
I needed to be a ‘grown up’ and decide for myself, as well as completely redefine my idea of success. I realised it wasn’t enough for me to just hang out and wonder, I needed to experience the adventurous possibilities that were floating through my mind. To have a decent job with decent pay - security wasn’t my definition of success. For me, success meant chasing my dreams and demanding a fulfilling life for myself and my family and that’s when I realised I’d be failing by not following my heart.
I made a very firm deal with myself that I would release any ideas about myself that were not in line with my core values and beliefs. It was confronting, uncomfortable and messy! I gave myself permission to unravel my ‘so thought’ ideas on life, (which can often hold us captive) and this simple decision of ‘letting go’ allowed me to unleash all the possibilities that may come my way. But most importantly - I gave myself an opening and permission to receive them.
3. Best advice on facing your fears/taking that leap of faith?
Honour your humility. Sometimes you need help - know your strengths but also know your weaknesses. There is far greater than ourself into who we can become, who others can become, and how much more we can do and be.
Be courageous and don't be scared to look messy - people like messy!
4. Bonus Questions: How to overcome fear of your first yoga glass/teacher training retreat:
You can not create an experience for someone, each person will perceive the very same experience differently. All you can do is show up prepared and do your best. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, accept yourself just as you are - at that very moment, without having to change anything.
Every time I walk into a space that sends my thoughts spiralling into fearful thoughts, I whisper to myself - TRUST AND HAVE FAITH.